Newbie who is looking for buddies

I am 21, 5 foot nothing, and 192lbs and hoping to lose close to 100lbs.
I have tried some of the diets that are out there but cant seem to keep motivated.
I have also always been kinda self destructive when it came to dieting in the past; by this I mean that whenever a diet would start to work and someone would point out that I looked to be losing weight I would get uncomfortable at the acknowledgment and balloon back up.
Now that a few years have passed and I have gotten to the bottom of why I always got uncomfortable at any positive acknowledgment, I think that I am ready to claim my life back and be who I want to be. Which first and foremost means dropping these unhealthy pounds.