And away she goes!

Well, here I sit Sunday afternoon planning my Monday morning diet start ritual AGAIN (as if I haven't been here a hundred times before.)

I am hoping that with the help from this site and support of the great people here that I can actually do it this time. In the past, I have tried to rely on diet alone and that just does not work for me. I am going to have to get my lazy bum off the couch and walk on the treadmill. I am out of excuses about why I can't or won't do this. If I continue to make excuses then I realize that I might not exist for much longer as I am "morbidly obese" as the doctor states. I feel bad all the time and just want to cry because I have let myself get so out of shape. I was never the homecoming queen but I was the homecoming maid. I was never the beautiful one but I was the cute one. I have always felt like I didn't deserve this for myself and that everyone else was more important than I was. I have to take time for myself or this could be it. No, I'm not being a drama queen. This is honestly the way I feel. It's now or never. I mean I am 46 and can't remember the last time I could cross my legs comfortably. Isn't that pitiful?

Anyway, my plan is to stay between 1200-1500 calories and exercise at least an hour on the treadmill. I will walk EACH and EVERY day. I will not make excuses about why I don't feel like walking.

I am making a deal with myself. I am the biggest couch potato you can find. So, here's the deal...I am not allowed to watch ANYTHING (not even the news) until I have walked my one hour.

What I need is a couple of buddies to make me accountable, or to join a challenge, but I can't figure out how to just jump into these. It looks like they are all well under way. Can you just ask to join a team in the middle of a challenge, or do you have to start at the beginning. I need the accountability.

I haven't weighed and to be honest, I am probably going to freak out when I see the number. I haven't stepped on the scale in about a month. I'll record my weight in the morning.