my weight wasnt the cause of the divorce of my first marriage.* my husband knows im with him for good no matter my size.* before me,* my husband had never been with a woman over 120 pounds.* he married me for who i am not for my weight but as im losing,** if it wasnt for my health he would want me to stay the same.* i guess the weight is an issue for me,* not for him.

i forgot what i was writing for.* i have seen weight be big problems in a marriage.* so i think it can go hand in hand.

You know, it all boils down to insecurity.* Changing your appearance, in any way, can cause a spouse or significant other to have doubts about themselves.* We can lose the weight, and whether our spouse is overweight or not, they may feel that they will no longer be good enough for us.* The same goes for getting a college degree, a big promotion, or a new job where the woman's income will be much greater than the man's (sorry Dan & Scott, that one is gender specific).* What that person needs is constant reassurance that we will continue to be in their life, and will continue to love them...that size, or money, or status has nothing to do with the way we feel about them, and that we're not gonna leave them just because we've changed..
And unfortunately, some people need a lot more reassurance than others.

ive found the opposite, our problems began when i began to gain weight... its like his patience grew thinner, he wasnt as sweet, attentive, etc... i think he is excited that i am trying to loose it now.. (for himself)

Well, anyone who has read my blogs, knows this has been an issue for me and my DH...I was a size 14 when he met me (Which I would KILL for now, by the way!!) but he has never really known me thin...
Heck, I have never really known me thin!!!
I was a thin girl, but I have never been a thin woman, and yes, it is causing some growing pains...
But we are doing the best we can, and talking about it all, and that helps...
But if I had to say today where we will be at the end of my journey, I honestly couldnt...Because the weight loss has changed me sooo much. I am no longer the person I was even a month or two ago, let alone 12 years ago...Every day brings growth...
Soooo...I hope and I pray, and continue on my life journey, *for me, and I certainly hope he's still there at the finish line...
Dawn

It seems to me from several blogs on this site and from my own experience with my first marriage that weight loss and marriage seem to be a issue....Why is this?** Is it insecurity on the other spouses part?* Is it that we feel better about ourselves there for we want all aspects of our life to be better meaning we no longer want to put up with the parts of our marriage that has been wrong for so many years?*
*
I experienced problems thru out my whole first marriage but it just seemed to esculate once I started loosing weight and feeling better about my self...Like I said I have seen a pattern here on buddy slim and this got me to thinking about this subject and my own personal experience with it.
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Any thoughts or opinions on this subject?
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xoxoxo
Becky

Hey Becky,
Yeah, I think there is definitely some correlation. I've barely lost anything and my DH is already expressing certain issues..you know, "You're gonna be all hot and I'm still gonna be fat." Stuff like that...I just reassure him that I love him no matter what and tell him he can join me if he likes. He goes hot and cold on it.
I think you nailed it--there are major insecurities on the spouse's part. It's pretty normal...I also agree that the person losing the weight may find that because they're loving themselves more, they may not feel that they should continue to put up with their spouse's crap.
For me, I know that I love my DH, but he's the biggest pain in the ass I've ever met. Even so, I vowed for better or worse and all, so I'm going to do my best to stick it out. This is my second marriage and I waited almost five years to marry him because I wanted to be sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm trying, I'm trying. I wish he'd mellow out sometimes, but what can you do?
Okay, sorry for the rant. Yes, I agree. LOL.
Angie

Well, the split of my first marriage had nothing to do with weight.* He was an alcoholic who started drinking again.
Now Micheal...he likes big women.* He likes a woman built for comfort, not for speed, but that doesn't mean he wants me to stay fat.* He's commented several times about things he wants us to do when I get the weight off.* He just doesn't want me to get all skinny.* And I don't like skinny either.* He's seen my prom pic that I posted on here, which is my goal weight (170), and he likes it.* He said that would be perfect.* I weighed 270 when we got married and shortly after, the doctor put me on meds for Fibro.* I gained 45 lbs. the first month.* And I've been fighting it since.
So, in my case, my husband isn't a deterrant.* He doesn't always do everything he could to help me, but he doesn't try to sabotage me or belittle me because I'm trying to lose weight.* But I do understand how that could be a problem.