well... yesterday was great and this morning started out like crap. ate lunch then came home and made coffee and honey toast. not ever hungry, knew i was doing it cause i felt crappy, and did it anyway? wtf? and then i caught myself thinking that i could go to the donut shop and study... started thinking about what i wanted to get... which i don't need, and i don't even really like donuts. i feel insecure so all i want is coffee and something sweet... and then another something sweet and another somehthing... not good. time to make a list of the stuff i need to do today and go do it! i need to get out of here!

Tatiana, thanks for the post on never bingeing again, or whatever it is called. I totally agree. That's why I don't count days.

I am struggling right now. I haven't been on the scale in a couple of weeks, and I'm starting to panic. I need a dose of reality. Even though the scale is not always real, if I look at my history, I'm better off weighing in regularly than not. I'm going to weigh this weekend.

Stacey, do I have to have a serious talk with your husband? Do I have to show him your blood sugar numbers and remind him that you are a diabetic? And that his true love and care would better show in bringing healthy snacks to you and going for a walk with you? Rather than digging even a deeper hole with a donut?!!!!

UGH, this is something I am really passionate about, when it comes to food choices for people who are really sick.

As for belly dancing, I understand because I too am shy. It's so provocative and very, very feminine. I wouldn't do it in front of other people myself. Find some time when nobody is at home and try it. Get a long skirt on, tie a scarf around your hips, and smile often. Feel like a woman in her glory.

Kylie, I found that I can start a PERFECT HOUR any time I want. I don't have to wait for tomorrow to make a better choice.

Kama, how are you? I worry about you. Are you doing okay honey?

I did not binge last night and woke up with a nice feeling in my stomach. Exercised 1.5 hours yesterday. I keep repeating those small steps from the article about the journey of healing from bingeing and it helps.

The positive things: I keep posting here; I make better food choices, I am physically active every day, I walk 30 minutes a day now, and I advance my work load.

What are your positive things for today?

Dara, I am getting you now. When I had my two months of no binge, I falsely believed that I would never have a binge again. You kept saying that it's always on the back of your mind and it's so easy to slide into the old habits.

You were right! Look at me. After two months of victory I was back where I started. I have began to climb out of the binge state a few days ago but in a different way, without proclaiming, I will never binge again. It's unrealistic.

I am sorry you feel like you are gaining. I hope you are mentally prepared and have a plan of action with regard to a number you will see on the scale this weekend.

What happened with a nutritionist's food plan for you?

I've "indulged" yesterday and today, binge's little sister... the "treat". Today I had to stop myself, because I knew that "indulge" and "treat" were just getting me softened up for big sis "binge"...

Yesterday, I had 2 pieces of fried toast... nothing huge on the bing-o-meter, but... 2 pieces I didn't need, I wasn't PHYSICALLY hungry. Then today, I had a second helping at lunch... because it TASTED yummy, then went to finish the rest, because it was "only 1/2 cup".... but didn't. I knew that it would lead to no good, so I put it in a container and into the fridge, with the promise to myself that when I got hungry, I would eat it. Binge avoided for now... Just had to let it out, get it out there, give me something to go back and read when I need a little push down the road. I'm not always able to stop after a certain point, but I am working on stopping BEFORE. I'm getting there slowly... one baby step at a time.

Hey all, Kama here.
I am honestly doing better. I feel stronger today than I have in awhile.
My positive thing today is my support system, there are so many keeping me going.
To all of you struggling, please hang in there and don't give up. It is better to just face it head on and then you can start from there. Love you all!

Kama, good to hear from you!

Originally Posted by Tatiana

Kama, good to hear from you!

Thanks! I miss being on more. As soon as this is all done, I will be, I promise!

lol, just re-reading yesterday's post from me... I never did get hungry and go back and eat that... and just had a bunuelo when I took my daughter and her friend to dinner cuz I knew my hunny would want to eat together when he got done last night, but I only had a small dish of rice and maybe 10 of his fries (he had McDonald's) So, I guess the 2 servings of homemade mac n cheese maily tided me over 4 the night. I have been noticing that I'm not very hungry at dinner time lately... maybe too much during the day? idk, but I've been avoiding eating a big dinner on a not hungry tummy, cuz then I will snack all night (the irony... if I'm not hungry and eat, I'll eat more...) So, evenings have been going better. I'm not getting such a big urge to eat when I'm tired in the evening, I just hang out and relax, then end up falling asleep while my hunny watches TV... he's so comfy!

On that note, poor guy has gone from using my hips as a pillow to my inner thigh... I guess I lost my outer thigh cushion, but the insides of my legs are still squishy enough to be a pillow!

Dara, I know it sucks feeling like you are going up... losing your grip on what you've achieved, but you can do this... one little step in the right direction will lead to another and another! Just hang in there, maybe go back through some of your old words of wisdom and apply them to yourself .