Originally Posted by 20382

I know that for me bingeing is a coping mechanism for when I begin to feel overwhelmed and frightened (though of what, frequently eludes me). This behavior has very little to do with the food I actually eat and more to do with a short term attempt to make myself feel better. After I have done it I feel tired and completely demoralized, embarrassed and somehow less than. However, I don't feel that way about other people who have the same problem - for everyone who shares this affliction I have sympathy, empathy, love and total patience.

So, maybe, we should try and treat ourselves the same way we would treat a dear friend with the same problem? You would give them words of encouragment, love and most of all patience for trying to learn new behaviors to replace old destructive ones that don't work very well. Easier said than done, I know but everyone who posts on this site has helped me tremendously and I just want you to treat yourself the same way you would treat me if I had just binged.

OMG... that is EXACTLY me. I thought that when I got to "though of what frequently eludes me"... then when I got down to "I don't feel that way about other people"... I was sure you'd been reading over my shoulder...

Sometimes when I'm doing well, or being well, as the case may be... I can imagine how I'd be to another, and be that way to myself. It's still quite rare, but, better than non-existant, as it used to be.

I think that at the stem of an eating disorder, as with any addiction, is some sort of self-loathing, which is why we are so hard on ourselves. It's is said that addictions are just slow-motion suicide. Sometimes I feel like that's true, but I hate the thought that I would do that to myself.

Well, this is turning into bloglength... I'll start on my next comment...

Little Flower... I hear ya about the $! Here at my college, they have a free Dr. once a week and last year they added a free therapist once a week. Do you have anything like that there? Or maybe the school nurse could refer you to something in your price range (free--like mine ) She should be used to finding care for the proverbial "starving college student".

Little Flower and Tatiana...

I feel for you both, I, too had a rough weekend (was there a full-moon or something?), but muddled my way through with out totally undoing everything. I did have icecream for dinner Saturday night... straight from the tub... but I quit when I was full, not stuffed, but just full, and when I made dinner, I didn't eat any because I was still full from the ice cream. As I lay in bed, before falling asleep, I was thinking about the fact that I had eaten only ice cream for dinner, but decided that it was better to eat entirely icecream, consider it a meal, than push more into my tummy... and an over full tummy would DEFINITELY set off a binge Saturday... I was clinging on by a thread, a thin thread. Which oddly, was set in motion Fri by my 2lb loss. That freaked me out, oddly, I seem to be afraid of losing weight... more on that later, cuz work is calling....

Hey all, I wanted to report I got thru the weekend and NO binge! It was hard, but I did it!
Hang in there, we all are going thru some rough times right now.

Ok you all, I want to let you know that I will really try to not binge. I may have to be making some hard decisions about dad tomorrow. Truthfully, too sick at my stomach to think of food, but I know that can change. I want to get thru this sane.

Originally Posted by 16314

OMG... that is EXACTLY me. I thought that when I got to "though of what frequently eludes me"... then when I got down to "I don't feel that way about other people"... I was sure you'd been reading over my shoulder...

Sometimes when I'm doing well, or being well, as the case may be... I can imagine how I'd be to another, and be that way to myself. It's still quite rare, but, better than non-existant, as it used to be.

I think that at the stem of an eating disorder, as with any addiction, is some sort of self-loathing, which is why we are so hard on ourselves. It's is said that addictions are just slow-motion suicide. Sometimes I feel like that's true, but I hate the thought that I would do that to myself.

Well, this is turning into bloglength... I'll start on my next comment...

You are right about addictions being that. thanks for posting this.

how's everyone today? I'm tired, so it's gonna be a hard day not to binge... I had a cup of coffee cuz it's still early... helped just a bit, ate a very small breakfast, cuz being anywhere near "full" pushes me toward a binge, and I didn't want to try to fight tired+full at once. I have some caffeinated hot cocoa... just about to have a cup of that. I sat a gallon jug of water on the table here next to the laptop... no excuse not to drink up! Did some stretching... 5 oclock can not come fast enough today!

well, I'm doing better, I had that 3 mini-meals and a SwissMiss "pick-me-up" hot cocoa, in addition to coffee mentioned earlier... it's just past 4... I'm gonna make it...

NAP tonight after I throw dinner in the oven... let my boyfriend deal with turning the oven off... he can do it, I have confidence in him

gee, shoulda re-read post one before writing post 2... kinda redundant, guess I had that cocoa a while ago!!

Tina and kama, I hope you are okay.

Little Flower, what is happening? Were you able to ask for help? An online group support may be good for you. If you can afford a therapist, it would be even better.

I binged yesterday. So gross. Today was a good day. I ate well and exercised for an hour.

I am struggling... I remain hopeful. Thanks for all your help and support.