Originally Posted by Catrina

I too commit to this being day one, binge free!

I am so glad to have found this thread, I really think all of this support is going to help tremendously. Any advice is greatly appreciated...thanks LittleFlower for the insights up above, it helps alot!

Awesome! Yeah this thread has really opened my eyes.

Day 2 for me! I made it thru yesterday, how many days do we want to do this for?

Originally Posted by Little Flower

Last night I met up with my boyfriend after the match. On the walk home, he told me he needed to know what I was hidding from him. It was driving him nuts. So when we got back to his house, I sat him down on the couch and I told him I have Bulimia and depression and that I've been like this since i was 9 years old or so. That's all I told him. That all I could tell him.

He told me he kinda guessed I was bulimic, but didnt want to say it. He also said that his Mom had noticed it too because I never eat at her house, despite her trying to forcefeed me at times. I told him I was afraid to tell him incase he would break up with me. He said that was a daft thought. But, if I hadnt told him and kept going the way I was, then that would have caused serious friction in the relationship.

Now that I've told him, I feel more upset than I did before. I mean, I'm sitting at my desk at work now, and I feel really sad and emotional. I'm afraid now that he will be more vigilant and persistant about me eating in front of him. He already makes a fuss if I dont eat breakfast or lunch over at his place. And he has this habit of not fully talking things through and just bringing up topics again for weeks on end.... like last night that whole conversation was a max of 5 minutes. It was a bit of a blitzkrieg and I dont feel right about it. He asked me to call over again tonight so we might talk about it again then. I just cant bring it up.

Well, I'm proud of you for telling him. Just you stay in control of what you do, not him. You have come so far, you can do it.

Hello everyone! I just thought I would check in and see how you are all doing. For me, I do binge a lot when I am tired. Then I feel so guilty! I know for me that right now my biggest temptation is pumpkin goodies which are everywhere. I have to avoid going to places like Starbucks where my fave pumpkin empanadas are, and those pumpkin scones and pumpkin breads. Sometimes I allow myself a treat if it's healthy and if I can work it into my food plan, and then I walk to help accomodate it. But, by no means am I perfect. I just had a few days ago some binging (and then purging) as I am bulimic too, and it's always there waiting for me to fail. So, I am really trying to think health for me and being healthy so I remind myself that binging and purging are not good for me at all. It's so easy to binge for me and then to purge like it's an option. So, it's a battle I continue to fight one day at a time.

Originally Posted by StaceyC

Hello everyone! I just thought I would check in and see how you are all doing. For me, I do binge a lot when I am tired. Then I feel so guilty! I know for me that right now my biggest temptation is pumpkin goodies which are everywhere. I have to avoid going to places like Starbucks where my fave pumpkin empanadas are, and those pumpkin scones and pumpkin breads. Sometimes I allow myself a treat if it's healthy and if I can work it into my food plan, and then I walk to help accomodate it. But, by no means am I perfect. I just had a few days ago some binging (and then purging) as I am bulimic too, and it's always there waiting for me to fail. So, I am really trying to think health for me and being healthy so I remind myself that binging and purging are not good for me at all. It's so easy to binge for me and then to purge like it's an option. So, it's a battle I continue to fight one day at a time.

I'm tired and having trouble not nibbling.
Good for you on recognizing your triggers.

I definitely overate yesterday. My jeans were finally feeling looser like they used to(my biggest pair), but the scale yesterday morning went up .6 for no reason, I had only 6 hrs. of sleep so I was tired, and at 1pm it felt like it should be 4!! I knew I was in deep doo doo then. I started the knitting class for just this kind of situation, BUT I had screwed it up, didn't know how to fix it, and the shop is closed on Sunday!

I didn't weigh this morning, because I could not deal with the trauma. I keep getting close and then backsliding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other thing that sets me up is last week I was at 134.6, and I went up to 135.2, then 135.6! Okay, sidebar - I'm on Yaz so I don't have a period, but if I did it was supposed to start last Wed. That is probably why I went up. Okay, I consider myself above average in the intelligence and common sense departments in most areas of my life. Why I ask, can I not apply that same level of common sense and intelligence to food and weight????????????

Can you say mountain and 40 years?

So this morning I have been dealing with the feeling of regret. If I had just hung on yesterday, I probably would have broken through, and then I'd have more clothing options!!! Instead, I'm staring at all my clothes that don't fit, and once again hearing my husband say,"This is the first day of the rest of your life." He did say 'this is a journey' which kind of helped.

Debbie, I can so relate to the husband trying to help, but not always getting it. Ultimately, he just wants me to be happy, and men tend to have that 'fix it' mentallity vs. a 'listen and commiserate' mentallity.

I'm feeling better, because I did my workout, and I've been talking to God.

I am blessed, my family is blessed, and I am closer than I think to breaking through!!

Little Flower, good job opening up to your bf. Sometimes they say the wrong thing. You have to train them, and then sometimes they STILL say the wrong thing. How can they help but saying the wrong thing, when they can't relate??? If you don't have this thing, it is hard to grasp. It's just comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Originally Posted by Dara

I definitely overate yesterday. My jeans were finally feeling looser like they used to(my biggest pair), but the scale yesterday morning went up .6 for no reason, I had only 6 hrs. of sleep so I was tired, and at 1pm it felt like it should be 4!! I knew I was in deep doo doo then. I started the knitting class for just this kind of situation, BUT I had screwed it up, didn't know how to fix it, and the shop is closed on Sunday!

I didn't weigh this morning, because I could not deal with the trauma. I keep getting close and then backsliding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other thing that sets me up is last week I was at 134.6, and I went up to 135.2, then 135.6! Okay, sidebar - I'm on Yaz so I don't have a period, but if I did it was supposed to start last Wed. That is probably why I went up. Okay, I consider myself above average in the intelligence and common sense departments in most areas of my life. Why I ask, can I not apply that same level of common sense and intelligence to food and weight????????????

Can you say mountain and 40 years?

So this morning I have been dealing with the feeling of regret. If I had just hung on yesterday, I probably would have broken through, and then I'd have more clothing options!!! Instead, I'm staring at all my clothes that don't fit, and once again hearing my husband say,"This is the first day of the rest of your life." He did say 'this is a journey' which kind of helped.

Debbie, I can so relate to the husband trying to help, but not always getting it. Ultimately, he just wants me to be happy, and men tend to have that 'fix it' mentallity vs. a 'listen and commiserate' mentallity.

I'm feeling better, because I did my workout, and I've been talking to God.

I am blessed, my family is blessed, and I am closer than I think to breaking through!!

Little Flower, good job opening up to your bf. Sometimes they say the wrong thing. You have to train them, and then sometimes they STILL say the wrong thing. How can they help but saying the wrong thing, when they can't relate??? If you don't have this thing, it is hard to grasp. It's just comforting to know I'm not the only one.

No, you are not the only one. We are all in this together. This thread is teaching me so much.
But if it is any motivation to you all, I just got told by my dr that I am diabetes free, so it does pay off!

Kama congrats on the result!!! That's fantastic news. You're so healthy now, no wonder you're diabetes free. Now, just be sure to look after yourself though. Having your Mom home and looking after her must be stressful, even if Ted's fantastic and helping out so much. Remember to take a bit of time every day just for you, dont neglect yourself.

Debbie - girl you must be feeling so uncomfortable right now. I can remember doing maternity placements in college, and any of the Moms who were as close as you to having their baby, or even a day overdue, just wanted the baby out to start feeling somewhat normal again. I cant wait to hear that you've had the baby. I might have missed this in your blog but do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet? Do you have other children? I'm getting all excited for you! I'll have a word with my b/f if he tries to "help" me now that he knows I'm bulimic. Just to let him know that at the minute I have things under control. I'm just worried as well he'll say it to his sister, who's a doctor, and she'll blow things way out of proportion, get him all worried, and it'll get n the way between us.

Dara - do you weigh yourself daily? You know yourself that our weight fluctuates by up to 6lbs a day! Especially when you get to the light phase you're at. I've come to terms with this.... I figure, if I'm up 2lbs and cant really account for the weight gain, then it's just my female body acting like a sponge. If I went back to the scale 3 hours later, it could even be gone!

I need to read all the posts to catch up. I will have time later today.

For now it's going to be day three without a binge. I still eat more fruit than I need though.

Good job everyone and yes, Little Flower, although I told my husband about binge eating disorder, I still can't stand it when he tries to help or asks me how I am doing. He started to watch how much food disappears when he is not home. I hate that too. And I am grateful that he points out and asks questions, because the secret is out and I have to do something about it.

There is no way you can hide it, I agree with Debbie. I don't know what comes first, loneliness as a result of eating disorders or lonely people have eating disorders? I think that being truly intimate with someone you love may actually alleviate the need for bingeing... Thoughts?

In addition to my post above, I have to say that my husband is counting NO BINGE days with me. He told me this morning that he would be happy to see me not bingeing at least 21 days. "WE" have only 18 days left, lol.

Thanks you all! Day 3 for me! How ya doing, Catrina?
Good job, Tatiana!