Heather, what are your trigger foods?

Paula, ok, Gotcha. I have never spat out food... ever!

Such a strong mental barrier.

What else are you doing to stop the binge?

And she just had to finish a GIANT bag of corn chips. Secretly while her husband was away.

What is wrong with me?!!! I did not spit Paula. Maybe next time I will.

Debbie, you tried to be perfect and not post your eats in June. I felt the same way about posting foods and rebelled in binges.

Two-faced, secret living. Better get it out.

Wow, there are 244 views on this thread. I hope you will start posting, the binge eaters. It's okay. We can get through it together.

LoL no glamor in spitting out the food... it's really dangerously close to a purge for me and I keep picturing my dog who has just chewed something she shouldn't being grabbed by the scruff of the neck as I say "spit it out! out! out!" LOL My dog was a baaaaad puppy

hmmm I think one of the things that really helped me put a stop to my binging was doing the full body Candida cleanse. I know everyone has their reasons and triggers, but something I have learned along the way is that mistreating your body has serious physical consequences apart from getting fat. Candida (which is a yeast) and other parasites thrive in the kind of environment food abuse can create. A lowered immune function, high blood sugar, and the added stress of trying to cope with being unhealthy. Candida makes you insane in many ways. Biologists have well documented the chemical changes in hosts brains when infected by their parasite. The parasite can cause the host to behave, smell, or even look different than they would normally. Candida feeds on sugar and starch. It will make you crave it and I know my self control has been much better since I did it. Before the cleanse I would feel woozy and even thought I was diabetic at one point. I would eat and eat and never feel satisfied and then all of a sudden in physical pain from my excess. As part of the very intense cleansing I did (also to rehab my digestive track and get rid of food intolerance) I ate a raw vegan diet for 3 weeks. It was very hard but I started to pay close attention to how food felt in my body and how I ate. For me it was really a time of reflecting and breakthrough about my eating disorder. I now don't restrict my diet in any way. I know my first job is to give my body what it needs to function. I eat whenever I am hungry... ONLY when I'm hungry. I had to learn to embrace my body's many ways of communicating with me and to quiet my "voices" enough to listen only to it. You know those voices... clean your plate...children starving in China...etc, etc.
Sometime though I'm still that bad puppy with a mouthful of slipper... LOL

[I eat whenever I am hungry... ONLY when I'm hungry. I had to learn to embrace my body's many ways of communicating with me and to quiet my "voices" enough to listen only to it.]

Paula, thanks for sharing.

How did you learn to do that? I eat when I am NOT hungry. Its' so mixed up for me.

I started with forgiveness... When I was young my new immigrant parents were very poor. I knew we were poor and I think food was not only a way for my mom to fill the void of the family we left behind, but also a badge of success (who could judge you as poor with these nice fat children). I had to learn to forgive her and accept that she is a product of her upbringing as much as I am a product of mine. As parents we do the best we can trying to do a little better than the generation before. Once I forgave her, and myself, and my hubby, I gave myself permission to be selfish. As your first post stated so well the bulimic is unworthy; of health, happiness, food etc. I had to learn why punish myself. It's a constant struggle because those feeling of unworthiness are something I have carried my entire life and the first place I go to when things don't turn out. Depesh Mode's "Blasphemous Rumors" could be my theme song LOL.

When I was doing the Raw food thing I had to chew my food thoroughly. While I was chewing I thought of a Budhist teacher I once had who told us that we must do everything consciously. when you sit, sit with your mind, soul and body. When you eat think only of the eating. How your teeth grind the food, how the taste of the food changes as you eat etc. It was a tremendous exercise in willpower. I would stop eating the second I stopped feeling the hunger in my belly. Instead of tossing the rest I would put it away. When the hunger pangs returned I would continue to eat. This was exhausting as I ate 8-10 times a day but I started to recognize what it felt like to be hungry not just eating because it was noon. After a while my meals became more normal and now I eat only 6 times a day, sometimes more.
When we have a family meal I serve myself only a serving-spoonful of everything and eat it slowly. I give myself permission to have seconds or thirds.
Now the biggy are my alone times. Those are the hardest. Especially since I'm a work at home mom and have lots of unsupervised time in my day. These are the last frontier for me and the times I still struggle with. But by teaching myself to read my body I have a better perception of what I am doing when I start to spiral. I force myself to step back and analyze what I am doing. Why am I doing it: am I upset, not eaten properly during the day bored, lonely etc. Then I fix the problem.

I'm reading over this and it sounds too easy. It wasn't and isn't. I still struggle , not every day now but I have to stay actively conscious of myself and my actions.

Well, I tend to eat and read, watch TV, or work on a computer. Definitely, not paying attention to what I eat. I will think more about your post Paula.

Again, thanks for sharing this. Seems like you have come a long way from binges to thoughtful and joyful eating.

Well, no binges so far. I have been eating mindfully and paying attention. I picture myself spitting food out and truly can't do that. Better stop my hand before it goes toward my mouth.

Eating mindlessly happens when I am alone and in the evenings. I will stop eating after 5 PM for a few days to see if I can handle eat without rebelling.

"We have been trained not to waste food in the garbage, but to waste it on our bodies. Either way it is wasted. In one way, we just carry the waste with us." Brooke Castillo

No eating after 5 PM for one day and two pounds down?!!

If only everything was so simple... But it felt good to wake up feeling light and full of energy.

I really like your post about letting go of binge eating. Actually right now I'm having trouble with that especially when I really don't have much support from my husband since he's thin and he can eat whatever he wants and whenever he wants and not gain a pound.