you all are so great to share so much. i hope i don't ever cause a binge with my honest descriptions. i am in it right now - the binge mode. i am not serious about stopping it, i can see BUT i know that i do want to tstop it. All night I ahve been thinking about two things:

the original question of list of trigger foods and what tatiana said earlier about figuring it out not being as effective as a concrete plan to do something differently.

My questions tonight for myself and all of you are:

1. what are your trigger moments - for me it is not about the food, as much as the mentality. If i know this, i can more easily plan to disrupt the binge process.

2. what are the negative effects of this behavior? in other words, what don't you like about binging?


For me:
1. trigger moments:
TV
Being alone with TV
Staying up late
Being Tired
Son's nap time
Buffets (usually i only eat at Indian food ones, but in the past i would go to this salad buffet place that also had muffins...)
Movies (popcorn)
Feeling overwhelmed or unsupported
Feeling rebellious/entitled, not wanting to be in control, wanting to escape - the "whatever" attitude.
Drinking too much (haven't done this in years, but it can be an easy trigger)


2. The negative effects:
1. gaining alot of un-necessary weight. I'd be a little overweight without the binges, not alot, though
2. feeling tired - which then causes more binging
3. being embarrassed when i do actually tell someone
4. feeling like this isn't who i want to be. it doesn't fit with the who i'd like to be. at least not now that i can't do it without being fat. see, there was a time when i could eat and eat and still be slim. that time of teenage years. there is still some of that in me that wants to be able to eat whatever i darn well please...really though, it doesn't match my values or dreams - to stay up eating.
5. feel like i'm a loser!
6. the messed up body image that comes with the extra poundage/binge behavior
7. my poor kid and husband don't ever get to have certain foods b/c i can't keep them in the house. it's messed up to me when my just turned 3 year old kid asks me in Whole Foods, why we can't have those cookies around. I told him i have a hard time not eating them all - i wanted to be honest, but it kills me, too!
8. not feeling healthy.


ok, that's it for now. thanks for all of your support.

I'm reading all the posts about the binges, and I'm smiling. Not smiling like ha ha, but smiling like I'm not the only one. My husband, we've been married almost 13yrs., is amazed, which he actually says, at how much food I can put down. I always tell him I'm amazed at how many Black Labels he can put down. He doesn't even know amazing. Since he's known me, '92, I've been off 'hard' sugar. So he's never witnessed me eating an entire box of Krispy Kreme donuts, or a package of any kind of cookie with ice cream. Basically, any container is a single serving. I guess I'm fortunate I grew up where there were no Costcos around. I still have to spend extra $ to buy single serving sizes.
In high school, I had a friend that worked at a Mrs. Fields type cookie store. I used to go in the back while she was working and eat the dough and then leave with a bag of cookies. Ah memories. Most people have them of playing, friends, biking, etc. Mine are either of food or nothing. I have periods in my life that I don't even recall, because I was bingeing.

Kama, I did the one day off for awhile, but that day got pretty out of control, and I would spend Sun-Fri. losing the weight I'd gained from Sat. I still struggle with weekends and travel days and if I have too many too close together, I end up where I am now, trying to lose 8lbs. so I can fit in all the clothes in my closet. I feel like I did when I was 170lbs. and nothing fit!!

Tina, your binge sounded really minor, but I know how that feels to be 'clean' and then not. I am super impressed you put them in the lid!! I don't do the counting days thing, too much pressure to be perfect. My experience is there will be speed bumps along the way and the success comes from how well you mentally handle the bump, and how quick you get back on track. That's why I'm in this 'pickle' is because I didn't get back on track fast enough.
It's been 16yrs. and I could no more eat a bite of cookie dough, or have a 'real' choc. chip cookie w/o eating the entire container. I've also found it's a lot harder to detox from that hard sugar than it is from frozen yogurt, Puffins, raw almonds, etc. Also, the damage done from the hard sugar is a lot more than what I overeat on now. Another thing I do is look at the label and multiply the servings per container by the calories. And that my friends is why I don't buy trail mix, or any other of those 'healthy' goodies from Trader Joes.

Yes, I overeat in front of my husband, but I am very careful around my kids. They know I eat healthy. One time I went back for a 3rd bowl of Puffins, which I was eating without milk, and my son said, "Wow! Mom, how many bowls have you had?" What I wanted to say, well you all KNOW what I WANTED to say. But what I said was, "I know, can you believe it? I must be really hungry tonight."

Memories....I could go on and on .

One tip. Get all high trigger binge foods out of the house i.e. cookie dough . Just a suggestion. It might not prevent a binge, but at least you'd be moving toward a healthier binge and you won't have to listen to your cabinets calling your name at all hours of the day and night.



I'm taking my daughter to Disneyland tomorrow. Everybody have a great day.

Dara

Debbie, I was posting at the same time as you.
I'm tired and I have to go sleep for Disney, BUT I had to respond to your post.

First of all, is it you that's pregnant?

Second, I can ditto your emotional triggers for a binge.
I have to just say, I am 44 yrs. old and my all time favorite thing to do has always been, well at least since I was 14, would be to sit in front of the tv or read and eat, and eat, and eat, IF there wasn't the CONSEQUENCE of weight gain. I think I would even endure the lack of a good night sleep, sick morning hangover, etc. If there wasn't the consequence of gaining weight.

On the kid front, because I don't eat the hard stuff, it's in the house, because it's not an option. That stuff I treat like an alcoholic would treat alcohol. I have a reverential fear of it. Therefore there is mostly dark chocolate, which I was never that crazy about anyway, and leaded ice cream. Those are really the only treats my kids and husband eat. One time I accidentally bought a light ice cream, and yes, I ate it all. I look at the cartons more carefully now.

I don't want to ever have to say,"Mommy can't stop." Having a daughter, I don't want to mentally or physically pass this on to her. It is truly a difficult thing to cope with throughout your life. We talk about health and nutrition. A lot of times they say, "Mom, why don't you try this or why don't you eat this?" I just say that mom eats healthy and that stuff doesn't agree with my tummy. Sometimes they want to share with me. It might even be something they've seen me eat like Puffins, but I am not a good taster. I'm and excellent eater, but not a good taster. I just say, no thank you, I don't want any right now.

Okay, I've written waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much in these last 2 posts, but this is a subject that, unfortunately, I can really relate to.

Good night.
Dara

just a short morning post... might not have been a binge-over from those 3 lids of peanuts... I still feel like I'm going to throw up today... and I didn't eat anything weird or too much of anything last night cuz I felt like crap... I layed down almost all evening, and still feel like crap today....

I'll respond to the other posts and stuff later... gonna try to catch a nap while the lady I take care of is still in bed

Tina, sorry to hear your still not feeling well. could you have a little tummy bug? get some zzzs!

Dara, thanks for all your posts. i, too, don't keep much of the junk in the house, and when i do it is clear that i bought it to eat it myself. it is for me, not anyone else, really. i hear you on not wanting to pass these habits down to the next generation - especially girls. i worry about that with my son, too. he is a very healthy eater but also can be a snack food maniac. what i want to help him learn is what i didn't - you can stop when you are full, there is always more so no need to eat it all now, and no need to rush. i feel like my food was so controlled as a kid that i didn't learn to listen to my own body. i have super controlling mom who is thin and fit and then big overweight loves to eat and cook dad. i'm in the middle...

and, yes, it's me that's pregnant

Sarah, are you still reading? Even if you had a binge, please come back and keep posting. I hide myself when I binge. I hope you are okay. I am thinking about you.

Debbie, don't worry about causing a binge. I think that this thread has become a safe place to start talking about binges more openly. It's helping me to read and re-read all the posts and to know how much support and understanding we get here.

My binges are ALL MENTAL.

I feel sick physically and down emotionally after the binge. Feel like crying and hiding in the dark corner trying to cover my fat body from the daylight.

I can't go out and enjoy myself because I hate the "fat" clothes I have to wear.

I feel OLD. Tired. Desperate. Feel trapped thinking that another binge will be coming in the future.

Thinking about drastic measures like not eating for 5 days (I have done this before) or only drinking juices. Thinking about researching and ordering diet pills (have done that plenty of times) and going to the gym three times a day . Thinking about getting rid of fat via surgeries. Or thinking about finding a magic solution, magic program to lose weight. Buying tons of video programs for exercising. Buying sport equipment for the house gym.

Avoiding intimacy with the husband because I feel fat.

Complaining about being fat but not telling anyone about binges.

Thinking that it will never go away and I will never be able to relax.

Tina, hope you are feeling better after some rest.

Dara, I hear you about being able to eat enourmous amounts of food at once. I respect you so much for striving to instill healthy eating habits in your kids.

Kama, I agree with Debbie. If you can't stop eating cookies and it makes you sick, it's emotional overeating. Are there other ways for you to deal with stress?

Hey all! Yeppers..still reading for sure! Many new posts in the last 2 days eh! What a wonderful group we have going here....again...thanks Tatiana for even starting this...without it....my secret would still be a secret and would be easy to stay binging!

I did end up having one medium binge and I am sure that is what cause my dip in mood/depression. I hate the cycle the binge causes.....like you said Tatiana...which came first the binge or the depression?? Who knows.....either way I know without this thread/the people/the support here....I would be a 7 day a week binger!

Today is going well! I feel so much better when I stay on top of my water intake......if I don't I overeat and puff up!

Tatiana...your post about the MENTAL binge.....rings soooo true for me also...I do all that myself. I wear frumpy clothes and I feel like I belong on the couch watching Oprah eating Bon Bons all day haha....not funny but you know what I mean. What a cycle....I want off!!!!!!!

Lets just stick together folks!!! This is THE thread for support with this issue!!