Tina - love your plan for today. I am a big fan of the little steps. I do the same thing with feeding the upset stomach. good point that we wouldn't dot hat on any other part of the body. Why the stomach doesn't get some respect, i dunno!

it is so hard to undo those childhood habits, but it can be done! Thanks for sharing!

Good for you Tina for letting it out! This was the first place I EVER admitted to bingeing at all! And I have been making great progress since letting it out....this is the place for support for sure! I find holding myself accountable to this thread and everyone on it motivates me to try even harder.

The whole thing starting with a thought is so true. I can't believe I didn't realize that either. I have grown up around people with addictions and can't for the life of me understand why I am examining food/bingeing in a different manner....its the same thing!

Starting to feel much more energy today without a binge last night and I am getting my water into me...that always helps.

Hey all,

Tina, Sarah, Kelly, Miriam, and Debbie! No, the cake is still in the house and irritates me a lot, the thought about the cake, that is. When I type it, my mouth starts salivating. But I am so tired - I got up at 4 AM to fly to Los Angeles to pick up my nephew and we are back to Seattle, the same day. I ate some crappy airport food once (too much sodium) and I am bloated from sitting all day long. I managed to walk 5 miles though. I am in a full blown binge thinking process. Want to stuff myself because I am so tired and my nephew has ADHD and demands attention, and can't stay still for a second, and my husband is still at a library and will not be home for another two hours. I am just mad and tired and want some release in form of food.

I took two mangos, looked at them, smelled them, and put them back. I took bread and smelled it, and put it back. I opened the fridge and looked at the goodies. It's scary, like a rehearsed dance, movements, thoughts, a ritual to start the binge.

Instead, I am typing all this here and feeling kind of silly just to write it down.

Sarah, you go girl with no binges and losing weight again.

Debbie, I am glad you are here with us. I go "cold turkey" and you have a step-by-step plan that works for you. So many things to learn from each other.

Kelly, are you still reading?

Miriam, welcome to the thread.

Tina, it's quite a revelation to write down that your habits came from childhood and you still instill them in your children. I am glad you were not afraid to write what you ate when you binged. Very often the binge happens in a trance-like state and we don't "remember" what we had... very convenient. Telling the truth, no matter how ugly it is, is the first step to freedom.

Well, I am still HUNGRY (but not really). You all know what I mean. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Oh, and my nephew just said that he did not want that chocolate cake. I knew he wouldn't. I bought it for myself, that's the truth!!!

Good night... let's face this together ladies.

Well yesterday went well! I managed to eat right and get 7 glasses of water into me! No binge...woke up this AM and weighed myself...Monday I was 144.2 and this morning I was 143.6. So I am hoping by next Monday maybe I will be 142 or 141?? We'll see!

Tatiana...aren't we hard on ourselves! I have done that so many times. I'll buy this treat for my daughter...she gets one in the daytime and I pound down 6-10 of them at night....I haven't done that in a while but I am just saying you are not alone in that haha. Last night I did buy my girl a treat and before she went to ed I made her hide the box so Mommy wouldn't eat them. It worked...I forgot about them. If no one else is gonna eat that cake I bet if you poured ketchup all over it it wouldn't be so tempting hahaha! I hope your night went well after you wrote!!

And yes....facing it together....doing it together too!! We can!

LOL... that's funny about the ketchup... I despise pepper, and when I was going to OA, I'd cover my food in pepper when I got to the point that I was satisfied... because with "perfectly good" food, I'd just keep on eating... but the pepper gave me a minute to stop and think that I wasn't still hungry.

It's still hard for me to not "clean my plate", so I just start with very small portions... I can always get more if I'm still hungry, but I can't always stop myself when I'm satisfied.

Last night was rough... I wasn't feeling very strong and was afraid of a dinner into all night binge... so I skipped dinner altogether, not the very best idea, but I didn't binge that way.

Trying to decide on what I want for breakfast, I know it won't take much to be "satisfied", especially after not eating last night, so I want it to be something "good", but not so good that I obsess over getting "more" all day!

My goals today are to drink lots of water, eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, no binges, especially in the evening. I'm off to start day 2!

Tatiana: I'm so feeling that I bought it for somone else thing... I've done that.. then it's like, "oh,you don't want it...lets not waste" gobble gobble... stay strong... can you give it to someone else? It's funny about not remembering during the binge... I actually had to go back and edit to add the blueberries... I wonder if anything else got forgotten... I generally remember the beginning well... it's after a while, when it all tastes the same, and it's just the feeling I'm after, that my memory goes out the window.

Sarah: Thanks, I feel very welcome and comforted here!

Debbie: Yeah, I have to start with the baby steps or I'd never get anywhere!

Miriam: Like I said to Debbie... sometimes slow is better, not for everyone, but it is for me, and it sounds like you need to do one step at a time too! What's your first step?

Kelly: For me, it's not so much a trigger food... I'm just as likely to eat an entire head of lettuce as a box of chocolates... I have trigger feelings, 1. being tired and 2. being "full", actually anywhere past "just satisfied" will make me want to binge.

Dara: How's it going?

hey there!

looks like we've all done that buy it for someone else thing! today at the store i really wanted to buy something to chow on tonight but i remembered that tonight is a NO CHOW night and that worked - yahooooo!! Last night I did eat in front of TV but very small amount and i was hungry. We had a birthing center tour from 6:30-8:30 and it just kind of messed up dinner, so i ate a little before and a little after. got up early again today and did yoga - that helped yesterday b/c by 10 i was falling asleep on the couch and chose bed. usually i NEVER fall asleep there!

like hearing all the steps people are taking and ways we are fighting the BINGE!

take care of yourselves!

Gained 1.5 pounds from the salty airport food and sitting on a plane 10 hours total. I am not worried though because it will be gone in a few days, the extra weight.

No bingeing thoughts today.

Tina, it's such an accurate description of the binge. I end up eating whatever I can chew and swallow, the taste doesn't matter at the end. I can binge on cabbage and carrots, bread and ice cream, and it would be all the same - to reach the point of pain and fullness.

Sarah, whatever works, right? Just a tiny, teeny note: think about your daughter, what she is learning from you if she has to be an adult and hide sweets from her mother... it's not her responsibility to protect you from bingeing. Is there another way to deal with sweets at home? I don't know, maybe other ladies have some ideas about that.

My husband at first felt guilty for eating pizza at home but why should I deprive him of his favorite food if this is my binge trigger? There are triggers everywhere, TV, stores, etc... we need to learn to deal with triggers anyway.

Debbie, I am glad your super program on scaling binges down gradually worked last night. What is the plan for today?

we do need to learn to deal with binges everywhere that is so true.

tonight's game plan is to be tired again by 10 and hit the sack. when i was doing that before it cut my binges way down and my weight, too. not trying to lose now but don't need the extra gain.

tonight will be a normal dinner. if i need to eat after that b/c of hunger i'll go for some fruit or veggies. if it's hot i may have an all fruit popcicle. been munching the ice and drinking loads of water, too strawberries in the water - so yummy with just one cut up in there!

Hi Guys,
I'm back from Florida. Travel days suck for me. I tend to eat the entire time I'm on the plane. When I go into the trip at my low this is okay, not good, but okay, but this time I was up since I've been struggling for the last couple of months.
I had a pretty good week with the food after Sunday, travel day. I worked out every day, even took 2 spin classes, and only had yogurt twice. The travel day back this past Sunday was UGLY. My jeans were tighter than I ever remember them being. I bought an entirely new wardrobe almost 2 years ago when I lost 20lbs. and got down to a sz.4. I was super tired yesterday and the food was okay at best, too many carbs. Today I weighed and the number was so scary I can't even write it down. It was the highest I weighed in at in 2yrs. I am litterally trying to block it out of my mind. I am supposed to start my period tomorrow so that is adding to the problem. I feel every pound of it too. You know when you can feel your skin stretching????? That's where I am.
I have been going in circles for a couple of months now so I called a nutritionist yesterday that was recommended to me by my spin teacher. I had bloodwork done this morning. She analyzes the blood. I'll meet with her next week. I'll let you know how it goes.
For today, I am trying to do the next right thing, stay out of my head, and expect this weight to come off. This is a temporary set back, and God has me in the palm of His hand.
Sorry this was so long and not very uplifting.

Hi Everyone,

I'm a secret eater, and it's definately emotional for me. I feel so helpless about this . . .some brief background - food has always functioned as a reward for me or as a band-aid when things don't go right.

I grew up with it being shoved down my throat and then when puberty hit and I became overweight suddenly the very person who was feeding me decided I wasn't cute anymore. She told me everyday for 4 years (from the time I was 12-16 - really formative years)- you would be such a pretty girl if you weren't fat and the boys will never like you unless you lose weight, and also that I was lazy. She also got me up at 4am to workout and then took me to Mcdonalds for breakfast, she put me on phen-phen, and then yelled at me if I didn't eat my macaroni and cheese at dinner. She sent me to school with Slim-fast shakes and then came to my school and told my friends that I too fat and it was their job to tell her if I tried to eat anything while I was there.

Needless to say. I have issues with food. I want to cry just thinking about it. The worst part of it is the absolute shame and worthlessness that comes from making any mistake on my diet - which then leads to "I'm a total failure" - which the leads to anger at this person and binge eating to rebel . . .which only hurts me. My bingeing, rather than a form of satisfaction and reward is really more like a form of punishment.

I'm punishing myself for not being thin and telling myself over and over that nothing matters unless you're thin - if you can't be thin then the rest of your life is a failure too. this seems to have become a self-fufilling prophecy right now . . .i know I need to get into counseling for this, but it's not really an option at this time. Hopefully some of you can relate and give me some advice and encouragement.

Today I had a slimfast shake, and a sensible dinner, unfortunately I also had THREE lean cuisines too . . .scattered throught the day. That's actually only about 1200 calories, but I still hate myself for it . . .grrr . . .