I am shocked that I am here. I find the forums are not really for me, but on this day when it was fabulous and I brushed my teeth after supper, I STILL went and ate when I was not hungry...... Kashi bar, butterless popcorn, little p/b&jam , small amount of cereal and for what? SO I can maintain? I was doing so well. I did a lot of activity today, but why? I do not feel awful as I have in the past, but I want to be better, as you all know.

I have never found a forum that fits so well with me though I guess I should go a searching more often . I appreciate all your words and suggestions. Thank you everyone. Hope you are doing a little better and better each day.

Off to brush my teeth for the last time!!! 7:57PM

By C. Rodell, RD.

Does your eating style create physical discomfort? Does it involve self-denial and self-sacrifice? Does you eating style keep you wrapped up in attempting to resolve your weight (perpetual dieting) rather than standing up and claiming your right to have what you want? Maybe you can begin to identify your own pattern from one of the suggestions below?

1. Perhaps you have decided that you must be a pleasure-denier? Eating without sitting down. Eating unconsciously. Eating with guilt. Gulping down food in a hurry and always eating on the run. There's no time in this world for your needs and you do not rank as a priority in your life. Your life and your needs do not exist or are not as valuable as someone else's. To be self-centered is viewed as being selfish.

2. Do you binge in private? Not allowing anyone to see you having pleasurable foods? Having to sneak your pleasure in the dark? In a trance-like state, eating foods you don't want anyone to know you eat . . . in volumes you don't want anyone to know you want. You eat quickly, not wanting to get caught. The irony is that you're not really enjoying the food, you're not really hungry. It's usually a time we can be alone, with all your wants and desires. It is a time we don't have to pretend to be capable, competent, pleasant, likeable, strong, and without needs. It is a time to be entirely self-centered, where you don't have to take care of the needs of anyone else and can focus completely on yourself.

3. Do you deny yourself energy / food (forgetting to eat breakfast and lunch) throughout the day then attempt to provide yourself with as much pleasure as you can quickly get in the evening? Choosing to feel guilty afterward, once again denying yourself the pleasure of having what you want? Compulsive overeating is characterized by uncontrollable eating and consequent weight gain. Compulsive overeaters use food as a way to cope with stress, emotional conflicts and daily problems. The food can block out feelings and emotions. Does your eating style numb out your inner voice, your inner truth, your right to accept pleasure?

4. Do you restrict food entirely - denying yourself the energy needed for life? Perhaps leaning more towards anorexia. Never allowing yourself to be hungry. Hunger, your human need, stands for every need you have in life. Meaning, you have no needs. You are above being human. While underneath feeling you have no worthiness as a person. By denying your needs you deny your worthiness as a person. An attempt to be void, be empty. To say, "I deserve nothing." While at the same time playing a game of superiority saying, "I don't need anything." Hunger, and having needs, is part of being alive.

5. Do you hoard energy - holding onto as much energy (food and fat) as you can, not feeling safe without it? Keeping weight on your body as a way not to be too powerful, too sexually attractive, too alive, too authentic and real? Not trusting your self if you were thin. In this eating style, the subconscious fears becoming thin. Whether the fears are of starvation, sexuality, a new job situation, dating and relationships, career choices, family issues or just life itself, the weight may be serving the purpose of insulating you from those fears, from feeling, and thus avoiding personal growth and change.

6. Are you bulimic - somehow sensing it is your birth right to be powerful and have what you want, but also in conflict about your needs? Indulging in huge amounts of energy (food) but then raging and throwing up what you aren't allowed to have? Bulimics are usually people that do not feel secure about their own self worth. They usually strive for the approval of others. They tend to do whatever they can to please others, while hiding their own feelings. Food becomes their only source of comfort - but even that is not allowed.

7. Unconscious eater - Have you ever been nibbling on something for some time before you realize that you are actually eating? Have you had someone ask you, "Hey what are you eating or what did you have for dinner", and you couldn't tell them? Do you find yourself nibbling on food constantly while you are working, driving, talking on the phone, or watching TV without even thinking about what you are eating. Do you heap mounds of food on your plate? Do you put another bite into your mouth before finishing the last one? What are your fears? Are you allowed to have what you want? Can you fill up with enough? Can you sit down and accept all of what you need and deserve on one plate?

Thank you Tatiana

I find that when I start, I just can't stop! Its better I have nothing when im a little bit hungry, because it just makes me want to eat more. Sometimes I will sit and watch a film, eat junk and when the film is over, I can't believe the amount i will have eaten. It awful and sometimes I actually feel so full I can't move. But then I will spot something else and before I know it, im eating it!!!

i totally agree with you all. I am a very poor binge eater, i will buy things in secret and eat them in secret and say i never had them. The biggest question is how do you tell yourself no??? I see other women with nice figures but i still reach for that chocolate bar and still eat it. :-( help.