Body Image

Body image is the perception you have of your own body - what you think you look like, not what you actually look like, and the two often differ.
Body image has always been important. People always and everywhere have been concerned about beauty and taken pride in their appearance, and there’s nothing unhealthy about that - but in our society body image has become an unhealthy obsession. It is no wonder then, that your quality of life can be greatly impacted by your body image, and that your emotions and actions are often held hostage to your perceptions of your body, even though these perceptions may be a far cry from reality.
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How does one look in the mirror yurn your world upside-down?

What happens when you look in the mirror? What do you see? It's highly likely that don't see an accurate reflection. What you do see are the parts about yourself you don’t like.
How familiar is this scenario to you?
You are getting ready to go out for some fun. You are in a good mood and are really looking forward to the evening. And then you look at your body in the mirror. No matter what you actually look like in reality, you see your body only as imperfect, even ugly. You focus on one or two areas that you perceive as fat or misshapen and forget about the rest. Self-doubt sets in and you don't feel so great anymore. You no longer look forward to going out; it will just be another night when you feel inferior and unattractive.
Your image of how you think you should look doesn't measure up to how you do look because you compare yourself to the culturally constructed and imposed images of the "perfect person" that surround you. It is impossible to pick up a magazine or watch a TV show without getting the message that the ideal person is skinny, successful, energetic, young, white, wealthy and flawless. It is no wonder that most women, and many men, struggle with body image, food and weight problems. The airbrushed illusion of perfection becomes a reality, and the cultural pressure to conform to this illusion is what creates the dissatisfaction with your body when you look in the mirror.

False images and wrong messages

While culturally imposed images of perfection send out wrong messages about how we should look, there are also other important social factors that contribute to bad self-image. For example, preoccupation with body image is socially instilled in girls from the time they are very young. Parents consistently describe their infant daughters as beautiful, soft, and cute and rate their sons with terms having to do with abilities and strengths, rather than appearance. When asked what kind of person they want their child to become, parents mention "being attractive" more often for daughters than for sons. Through socialization, children of both sexes learn girls' bodies are to be made more beautiful while boys' bodies are to be developed and strengthened. If you are a parent of young children, notice how you describe your children. Are you perpetuating the problem of negative body image?
Whether you have been aware of them or not, you have undoubtedly received numerous negative messages throughout your lifetime from your parents, the media, and even yourself. Maybe you can never erase these messages, but you can alter the way you perceive them.
There are no quick fixes for the dilemma of negative body image. There are no pills or herbs that will change how you feel about your body and yourself. You can, however, challenge your own beliefs, attitudes and feelings. We all have the capacity to feel good about ourselves, no matter what we look like or how much we weigh.

Changing your body image

To get your body image in perspective you first need to face up to any unrealistic ideals you have about your own body and stop trying to achieve them. You also need to question and challenge the perfect images that surround you. Don’t accept them as the norm; they are not the norm - you and I are the norm. You also need to challenge the messages that society has so far given you about image, and replace them with realistic ones. Remember that as an adult you can choose the messages you accept or reject. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Choose your messages

In the attempt to alter our size or change our body shape, we follow unhealthy diets and go to all sorts of extremes. Some of us starve ourselves, and some of us use self-induced vomiting, laxatives and diuretics as weight loss tools. From excessive exercising, to bingeing, to purging, to plastic surgery, we attempt to alter our bodies to conform to unrealistic ideals. What would be more helpful to us is to challenge those unrealistic ideals and stop trying to achieve them. Of course, all this is easier said than done. When that moment comes to look at your image, will any of the suggestions you read in this tutorial cure your feelings of disdain for your body?
Perhaps not, but what are the alternatives? It is at least worth a try. Remember that as adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your permission’.
Get real. Question the images of perfection that surround you and stop accepting them as the norm. Find out how pictures are airbrushed to remove all visible flaws. The next time you see a picture of a model and think you should look like that, take a picture of yourself and have someone airbrush it so it is perfect. Perhaps that will open your eyes to how false these idolized images really are.
Get healthy. Why is it that when we see pictures of women who starve themselves to be thin and who have had countless surgeries to extinguish any vestige of fat or imperfection, we feel bad about ourselves because we don’t fit that image? Isn't it bordering on insanity to want their starvation, expensive surgery, pain, suffering and insecurity!? Think realistically about your body and how you want to treat it.
Get perspective. Put your body image in proper perspective. Next time you find yourself focusing on some area of your body that isn't quite how you would like it to be, remember that you are more than the sum of your body parts. Do you really believe that your thighs or stomach define who you are and determine your value in society?!
Get appreciative. Enjoy your body! Instead of disparaging your body, what about appreciating it? Consider just how amazing the body is: it takes you for walks, it lets you see the sunset, it lets you hear beautiful music, it moves and breathes and grows and changes.
Get age-wise. As we move through the different stages of our lives, developing and nurturing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to our happiness and emotional health. Accept the changes of your body as you grow older and learn to celebrate instead of mourn them.
Get your own standards. It has been said time and time again that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Teach yourself to believe this and challenge yourself to rethink your attitudes of beauty. Ask yourself what standards you want to have for beauty instead of blindly accepting the unrealistic standards that surround you.
Get positive. Nourish yourself with positive relationships and a positive attitude towards yourself and life. Remember also that you can help another person improve his or her body image by paying compliments and pointing out positive things about that person.
Get sensible. Take stock of how often you criticize yourself because of your shape or size: some of the time, most of the time, or all of the time? It is the rare woman who doesn't occasionally take a backward glance in the mirror, and find some imperfections. But if you are critical of your body too much of the time, you are letting a fleeting glance negatively affect the quality of your life. When a two second glance can ruin your day, it is time to take a much longer look at your focus of self perception.

The role of positive affirmation

Self-talk can be very negative; if you repeat the same negative messages about your body day in and day out you start to believe them. Your present thinking and reality is a direct result of your repetitive self-talk. The good news is if you replace your negative self-talk with positive affirmations you can also change your thinking and your reality.
To get started on practicing self-affirmation, make a list of your positive and negative qualities on separate pieces of paper. Write down at least fifteen of each. Don’t be surprised if it is more difficult for you to come up with the positives than the negatives. By writing this list you should gain some insight into any overwhelming imbalance between positive and negative self-talk. Review and add to this list daily - build it into a repertoire of affirmations. Positive affirmations can be simple one-liners such as "I like my hair," or they can be more complex: "I am a valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life".
Practice one or two affirmations at a time, giving them a chance to work on the subconscious before moving on to other affirmations. Rehearse them in your mind, say them out loud, write them down, record them and play them back as you go to sleep! Do whatever it takes to replace that negative self-talk. As you internalize more and more positive affirmations, your perceptions will begin to change.
Positive affirmations are learned by repetition, and should be practiced everyday.

Summing up

Beauty is subjective and multi-faceted. Every one of us can be beautiful; we only have to see it that way. This week when you look in the mirror, look for the good things about your appearance and remind yourself of your positive inner qualities also.
If you need help overcoming issues with body image, there are many support groups as well as a variety of professional treatment plans and programs that can help.

Great Post Janet! Everyone should read this!