"I Don't Care" Christmas cookies

In times of stress, here's my aunt's favorite cookie recipe. She says:

It is that time of the year when I want to make sure all my friends
have my special Christmas Cookie Recipe- thus:

Here is how to make my favorite Christmas cookies

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:

1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level
cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or somethng. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the
oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
finish the Cose Jervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!