Wowwwww....Nikki, first off (((hugs))) to you, and second off, I am so with you on being an over stressed, anxiety prone, fat housewife. Ugh. For me it's not the food issues, for me it's the letting myself go bit. I have pretty much the exact same pairs of pants you do, and Anna, I wear the same few outfits too, out of laziness and wanting to be comfortable more than anything else. I can't remember the last time I did my (undyed and greying) hair. Ick. I guess when DD came I was overwhelmed for a while (as we all are as new mums) and then with all the issues with DH over the last several months, I just - and I hate to say this - haven't liked myself enough to put in the effort to look pretty. So I've been continuing to use the excuse of my busy mommy life to not bother, and just keep living in my sweats with dead dull hair and no makeup. And as for food, I don't do too badly, but I sure as heck don't worry too much about my veggie servings (always a big issue for me), my waters or my exercise...

Grooooaaaaaannnnnn.

This is something that has been nagging at the back of my head from time to time, usually while lying in bed at night. Why is it? Do I really dislike myself that much?? Do I really not deserve nice clothes or pretty makeup till I hit goal?? Am I really that affected by DH's bullsh$@ that I just can't be bothered?

As much as I feel for you girls and I wish you didn't feel that way, I want to say thank you for posting this today and also giving me the courage to be open about my own "letting myself go".

This ties into so much else I'm dealing with right now too, from my cluttered house I'm trying to Flylady, to the way I let my inlaws walk all over me and make me feel like s$@t, to the way I let DH's b.s. get me down, after all this time and in spite of the knowledge that this is a long-term problem.

Uggghh.

I'm going to post this right now before I get too embarrassed to do it, and I'm going to spend some time thinking about this over the next few days.

Ugggh have room for one more for the "let myself go team"??? I havent even seen my best friend since September because Ive gained all my weight back. Talk about avoidance. And yeah I have 2 pair of jeans and 2 workout pants that fit. I just cant get myself motivated to stay on track for more than a week. I lost 3 lbs last week but the week before I had gained them so here I sit again at the same weight. I feel like I must not really want to loose the weight or I would just do it.

Nikki dont feel bad Im on an anxiety med that is supposed to make you loose weight. But not me I just gain and loose the same freakin 5 lbs over and over. UGH!!! Im hoping that the warm weather will make it easier on me. With all the fresh produce and warm weather there wont be any excuses...Right??/

This really sucks that everyone is having such a struggle.

I have been struggling for a while and honestly, the thing that motivates me the most is you guys. Kevin lately has gotten better at being supportive of my efforts though, I have to say that. After I put my foot down, or should I say through the floor, he turned completely around in his attitude towards everything.

Ohhhhhhhh breaking news! As I was typing the above, Billhole called. I think I called everything correctly! How often did I say that I guarantee he would disappear from Garrett's life?!?! BINGO!!!!! He just called to ask my opinion on him taking a job in Ohio. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!!!! I was very good though. I told him that he has to take his relationship with his whore into consideration, Garrett and his other kids, but he also had to think about whether this could be a positive step for himself. We will see what happens.

Can I jump on the crappy life bandwagon? Is there room for one more? I have really been struggling! However, yesterday was a much better day and today is not off to a bad start. I am still working on the water situation though. I know the feeling of being “swollen”. If I do not get lots and lots of water in i'm a balloon. I seriously retain water. My WW buddies here laugh at me cause i'm constantly watching my sodium. It really makes a big difference on my weight. Sooo I started my journal yesterday and had three very nice comments left on it. That was very motivating. I did not work out this morning because I had a monster headache. I do not know what is up with all of these headaches. They are driving me crazy. If I start feeling better then I think I will go work out after work. I also found my swimsuit so now if I could get it together I could do water aerobics with my friend. Not sure what I will be making for dinner. That is one area that I have seriously been slacking on. I do so much better when my meals are planned. I don’t know what the heck is going on with me. Someone needs to slap me!

Jen~ hmmm you called it on the donor!! How do you really feel about that? Would it be better for Garrett?

Erin and Sarah~ Lets all work together and get back on program. I know the clothes feeling

Lets all move to the same town so we can drag each other to the meetings!!!

Anna~ Im so proud of you for not eating the cupcake

look everyone!!! ima squashmore!!!

Well good lord girls, glad we all got our crap off our chests today...DD is with me this afternoon and she is boo hooing over gaining back the 7 lbs she lost in the hospital and gaining 7 more...she is up by 14 lbs since she left the hospital...she is still small and cutesy but I had noticed recently that her clothes were getting awful tight around the mid-section...I am not freaking out but I don't want her to have a weight problem. She eats good but doesn't eat consistently during school days (usually eats breakfast, skips lunch and then pigs out later)...I am trying to be upbeat with her while my mind (not my mouth) is screaming at her "YOU CAN NOT GET FAT!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???"...then she starts to cry and tells me that the b/c pills they put her on are causing her to gain weight...okay..she may have a point??? Now what to do????

Janna......I would actually be happy about him just disappearing. He is a constant cause of caos in Garrett's life. I couldn't tell you how many times last baseball season he told Garrett he would be at a game and never show. He has NEVER been to a baseball game in 2 years. Whenever he has something going on, he is very quick to call me to say he can't take Garrett. God forbid he puts his plans on hold for his son. And Garrett's attitude just plain sucks when he comes home from visiting. I think it is smart to watch your sodium if you tend to eat alot of it and it affects you.

Terry.....tell Miss Kimberly that this sometimes happens with different medications. As long as she is eating right and being active that is all that matters.

Hello, my name is Emily and I am an addict. I feel like i am going thru detox. Can I whine for just a minute about how I would really like something to CHEW on.. even a carrot or an apple would work at this point and I keep thinking I don't get to eat until 2:00tomorrow afternoon. What was I thinking scheduling this for anytime other than first thing in the morning???? A person can only "eat" so much jell-o and popsicles! Tomorrow afternoon I will get on the fat housewife wagon, but today my id is too preoccupied with lack of food.

Jen~ MAybe it would be good for Garrett if the donor was further away - especially now that you guys have Kevin. Definitely better for you!

Janna~ Ditto what Jen said about the salt. Always a good idea to make a plan for dinners.

Sarah~ Mommies especially deserve time for themselves... it makes them better mommies!

Terry~ I am terrified that Beeca is going to struggle with her weight llike I have. I try to stress the healthy eating part and getting exercise. IT is hard though!

Erin~ I hear you on the warm weather! It IS always easier in spring and summer ... more activities and fresh food to eat (at least for me). Maybe I should move to SoCa, then I could eat well and workout 365 days a year and get Anna to her meetings.

HELLO TO ALL. I HAVE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION HERE LATELY. I HAVE DECIDED I AM GOING TO KEEP UP WITH YOU ALL. I HAVE BEEN MISSING YOU ALL.

CHERYL: LET'S KEEP OUT OF THE SAND.

JEN: I READ WHERE YOU ARE UNEMPLOYEED! YEAH..... I MISS STAYING AT HOME SOMETIMES. I MAKE REAL GOOD MOENY NOW THOUGH. I THINK I WILL KEEP MY JOB FOR A WHILE.

XAN: PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT. JUST THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN YOU AND YOUR DH WILL HAVE WHEN THE KIDS ARE ALL GROWN.

APRIL: LOOKOUT MOMMA...... I AM BACK AND I AM READY FOR YOUR DAILY INSPIRATIONS. I CANT BELIEVE YOU NAMED THAT CAT BOBBY. YOU ARE HORRIBLE. A CAT SHOWED UP AT OUR HOUSE AND CALLED HIM KITTY NOT KNOWING WHAT HIS NAME WAS SO NOW HIS NAME IS KITTY AND HE COMES TO US.

TO EVERYONE ELSE...... HAVE A GOOD DAY AND I WILL TRY TO GET BACK ON AFTER THE BIGGEST LOSER

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT TO ALL. ANGIE