Sarah-I almost peed my pants reading your story about dd. Ewww, eww, eww, lol. Juneau, our cocker spaniel often spends outrageous amounts of time "cleaning her junk" as dh likes to call it, and then loves to come and french kiss you with her foot long tongue. No sir...don't like that at all.
Ds has been in his bed consistently every night since Saturday. He's even taken to going in there to read at night instead of curling up with me on the couch

I guess I didn't realize just how ready he was. That's good though. 9 has been a good year so far. Pretty rational. But the independence is KILLING me. I meant to answer you about the group of mamas I got to know online. It was an alternative parenting board called hipmama.com. Unfortunately, it's defunct now after alot of ups and downs. It was started by Ariel Gore who wrote a book called The Hipmama's Survival Guide. When the message boards went down, a few of us spun off and formed our own community on an ezboard site, but many of us have since moved on in our lives and gotten too busy to keep up with it. It was a very cool thing when I had it though. Nice to know that you're not the only one who parents like you do, ya know. I was so different than my "peers" back then, still am, but don't need as much reassurance as I did as a newer mom.
Have you tried the boards at mothering.com? They can be a wee bit pretentious at times, but they have a "tribes" section that might hook you up with some moms in your area.