Ok, here is my issue...it's Alex, can't believe I'm saying this about my golden child, but she has hit 13, and it's showing. lol....

Ok, here's a few examples of what she's doing...this is the second morning in a row that she has thrown a half eaten bowl of oatmeal in a sink full of fresh dishwater...she threw trash in the kitchen can that obviously had no bag...she didn't make her bed like I asked her to....she left a bowl of half eaten grapes at the compter last night. I know this all sounds minor, but she's ALWAYS been like this and it's just getting worse!!!! I hate to bitch at her, she is a straight A student, doesn't talk back...MUCH...Do I just chalk it up as typical kid behavior? Do I ignore it and continue to pick up after her? I have had umpteen talks with her on the subject...I just think at 13, she is capable of seeing something laying on the floor and picking it up instead of walking over it. I'm not afraid of disciplining her, just not sure what is appropriate. I can't take social events away from her, b/c we have none, lol. I can ban her from Myspace and Wii, but it doesn't seem to have much effect...HELPPPPPPP

Originally Posted by 9839

Ok, here is my issue...it's Alex, can't believe I'm saying this about my golden child, but she has hit 13, and it's showing. lol....

Ok, here's a few examples of what she's doing...this is the second morning in a row that she has thrown a half eaten bowl of oatmeal in a sink full of fresh dishwater...she threw trash in the kitchen can that obviously had no bag...she didn't make her bed like I asked her to....she left a bowl of half eaten grapes at the compter last night. I know this all sounds minor, but she's ALWAYS been like this and it's just getting worse!!!! I hate to bitch at her, she is a straight A student, doesn't talk back...MUCH...Do I just chalk it up as typical kid behavior? Do I ignore it and continue to pick up after her? I have had umpteen talks with her on the subject...I just think at 13, she is capable of seeing something laying on the floor and picking it up instead of walking over it. I'm not afraid of disciplining her, just not sure what is appropriate. I can't take social events away from her, b/c we have none, lol. I can ban her from Myspace and Wii, but it doesn't seem to have much effect...HELPPPPPPP

She obviously needs some motivation. What I mean by motivation she needs her ass beat. Now exscuse my language, but I would not be picking up after a teenager that is ridiculous. I would motivate the hell out of her.

Yipes!

Nikki, I have the same situation here with Chynna right now. Although she has always been piggy she is even more so now. Like you I've told her to pick stuff up in her room (make a walk way at least!) and she ignores me. I go in and she has empty Vitamin Water bottles everywhere. I make her clean them up before trash day! I'm getting ready to stop buying her this water. Also like you she has no where to go on the weekends and can't take much away from her. I did ask her to vacuum her room last night because my allergies have been raging and she did. I also told her if she can't keep her room clean I'm going to give the cat away. I think that might have helped some. I wouldnt send him away just needed to scare her a bit. Maybe you can talk without yelling and explain to her that she is old enough to be responsible for keeping things neat and clean. I plan on doing the same with Chy. She is also a straight A student so it's very frustrating. I feel your pain! Good luck and let me know how it goes! You are not alone!

Mother of Messy Teen..................b

OK, let a grandma tell you what she thinks...lol Pick your battles girls. The things that are driving you nuts are just not important in a teens life. If they really knew how much it bothers you, well they wouldn't really care. You can yell and scream, ground them, take away privileges, (beating ass isn't an option in my opinion) and it might make them make a token effort, but it won't make them really care about your clean dishwater, or garbage can or messy room. There are things going on in their lives right now that are waaaaay more important. So what can you do? When you are alone together (maybe in the car) you might start a conversation about how it really makes you feel like she doesn't care about your feelings when she disregards the little things that drive you nuts. Try to make it a 'two-way' conversation. Find out what things you do that drive her nuts. You two might possibly find time to go out together for a walk or a soda on a regular basis and touch bases on how things are going in your everyday lives. It will seem forced at first, but eventually it will be something you look forward to. My youngest is almost 39 now and we still have our occasional 'coffee breaks'. These days she takes me out for a Latte. lol Good Luck...just remember, from the time they become teens, they won't really like you until they're grown.

Nik..it is called being a teenager honey and I am sorry but it doesn't get much better for a while...evidently their minds and our minds are not on the same page!!! One day my kids are great and the next they don't pick up or see anything except what they want to see. Patience is the best medicine for it!!!! I do bring attention to things they have skipped over or left undone.

Ohhhhhhh this is an ongoing battle in my house!!!!! Here is what has actually helped....ALLOWANCE!!!!!!
This tactic is especially effective when more than one child is in the house! Jess is definately the money motivated one and will clean everything and anything to earn money.....when the others see me handing over cash to her they want in on it too.
For those.....the boys....that do not want to clean their room...the motivation is simple....everything of theirs that I find laying around has been getting thrown out on Saturdays. Apparently, I am not throwing out high ticket items..I confiscate them and they have to earn it back.

Honestly, this has been working around here for about the past month.

Jacqueline......how many kids do you have? In particular, teenagers? I have 5 kids ranging from 6-16......like Sandy said, you learn to pick your battles.....

Grandmama, I like your advice--WELL SAID from someone that has been there and done that!!! And the part about pick your fights..amen sister!!! What is that famous saying...and this too will pass!!

Funny Jen..I was wondering myself how many teens Jacqueline had in her household too!!!

You know the best motivation for a teenager to clean their room or help with the house..let them have company over...does it every time for my kids..they are MORE than ready to help out with housework and clean their "hell-holes" if they think their friends are coming.

LOL....that is soooooooooooooooooo true.
My living room is ALWAYS nice and neat ever since a girl came calling for Devan and he didn't want to let her in because it was a mess(I had just gotten home from work). I told him "you didn't want to let her in because it is such a mess huh?" he said yes and said now he knows why I always ask for everything to be picked up. hehehe Actually he is the one that is on top of the living room all the time.