Hey Becky,
Yeah, I think there is definitely some correlation. I've barely lost anything and my DH is already expressing certain issues..you know, "You're gonna be all hot and I'm still gonna be fat." Stuff like that...I just reassure him that I love him no matter what and tell him he can join me if he likes. He goes hot and cold on it.
I think you nailed it--there are major insecurities on the spouse's part. It's pretty normal...I also agree that the person losing the weight may find that because they're loving themselves more, they may not feel that they should continue to put up with their spouse's crap.
For me, I know that I love my DH, but he's the biggest pain in the ass I've ever met. Even so, I vowed for better or worse and all, so I'm going to do my best to stick it out. This is my second marriage and I waited almost five years to marry him because I wanted to be sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm trying, I'm trying. I wish he'd mellow out sometimes, but what can you do?
Okay, sorry for the rant. Yes, I agree. LOL.
Angie